I took last week off from the computer due to a bad case of carpal tunnel in my wrist, which had been aggravated by excessive masturbation. All the unsatisfied dirty heretic fantasies left me overcharged. I was so sore Tuesday morning I vowed to go buy a vibrator. I've said before that I think using a vibrator is cheating, but wrist pain is no joke.
Since R. promised to make up for his absence over Easter weekend, I told him to meet me for some unspecified business. We hopped on the bus and headed out. I was rubbing and twisting my wrist as we were talking. He kept watching me do it until he put his hand on my arm to stop me.
R: Cut it out. You're turning me on.
Me: RSI turns you on?
R: What's RSI?
Me: Repetetive Stress Injury.
Me: Like carpal tunnel.
R: Oh, that. What from? (joking) You been masturbating too much?
Me: That's part of it.
Me: Deadly. Your mission is to help me pick out a good vibrator so I don't have to move my hands so much.
R: You? A vibrator?
Me: Wonders never cease.
R: Neither did your hand, I presume.
It was then that we heard the woman behind us clearing her throat loudly. R and I both turned to see an older woman sitting with two children. The older one couldn't have been more than 6 or 7. "Please," was all she said. She said it nicely, too. I just nodded and turned back around. R. couldn't stop giggling, even after we got off the bus. The people in the sex shop kept looking at him strangely. Neither one of us could stop thinking about those kids finally getting up the courage to ask "Mommy, what's a vibrator?"
In celebration, I got a toy that's more like an antenna for remote control airplanes
than like the usual personal massager. I like the toy, but the best part of it is the glow-in-the-dark controls. R. likes that it's bendy. We've been having fun so far.
I haven't changed my mind yet. I still think it's cheating. It doesn't matter, though, because my wrists are thanking me.